How You Can Help A Friend Escape A Domestic Abuse Situation
It is a sobering reality that one in three women and one in four men have experienced abuse at the hands of an intimate partner. How can this be happening and not be treated like the epidemic that it is? Whether you are in California or North Carolina, the odds that you will be involved in an abusive relationship or that you will know someone suffering through that kind of situation is uncomfortably high.
If you are lucky enough to have a supportive and healthy relationship but, you know someone that may be in trouble, how do you help? The most important thing to remember if you want to help is that it’s not your job or responsibility to “rescue” someone. Their decisions must be personal and come from a place of their own power.
As a friend or a relative that wants to help, the best thing that you can do is give your support and love. Whether you get the information from a California or North Carolina Domestic Violence Lawyer to pass along or you just listen without judgment, there is plenty that you can do to help. Let’s take a look at a few things that loved ones and friends can do to support someone in a domestic abuse situation.
Get Educated
One of the first things you should do before you approach a friend that you suspect is in an abusive relationship is to educate yourself. Find out about the common physical signs and changes in behavior so that you can better judge the situation. Some of these include:
- Bruising or cuts
- Isolation or withdrawal from family and friends
- Anxiety or depression
- Missing work, career suffering
It’s a good idea to give your local domestic abuse hotline a call. These vital communication lines are not just for victims. They are dedicated to providing education and resources to everyone.
Initiate A Tough Conversation
Broaching the subject of abuse can be very touchy. Your best approach is to be supportive and mention your concern. Then offer any help and be patient. Many victims carry a lot of shame and may not be ready to talk about or even admit to the abuse. Let them know that you will be there whenever or if ever they need your help.
Non-Judgemental Listening
Many domestic abuse victims just need someone to talk with. You may hold some anger toward the abuser or have strong opinions about the situation but, it’s best to keep those things to yourself. No one wants to be lectured about their situation and this kind of judgment could make a victim withdraw away from help. Let them know that you will keep their situation confidential and validate their experience and feelings.
Share Resources
If you have taken the time to get educated about domestic abuse, now is the time to share what you have found. Whether it’s a domestic abuse hotline phone number, the contact information for an attorney or a simple brochure, sharing information can help to empower the victim and show your support.
Create A Plan
For many victims of domestic abuse, getting out of the situation can take a long time and requires careful planning. As a friend or family member, it’s not up to you to whisk the victim away, they must make these choices and take action on their own. But, you can help them to make a plan. Offer your support in any way that you can and make sure to cover these areas:
- Create or offer a safe refuge
- Create an excuse that the victim can convincingly use to get out of a violent situation
- Create a code word to let family and friends know that they are in trouble
- Pack an emergency bag that can be accessed easily
No one wants to think about someone that they love being in an abusive situation. Whether it’s physical, emotional or mental abuse; the victim will still need help. Take your time, be patient and offer whatever help you can to help a friend or family member escape a domestic violence situation.
